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July 19, 2011


June 28, 2011

It was fluking cold in Cape Town this morning. Seriously by my standards 8 degrees is arctic weather. We are going to Joburg on Sunday for a couple of days and I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I’m going to pack my beanie, that is for sure. I wonder if I should invest in some gloves. I don’t think there is enough room in my jeans for long johns so I’ll just have to carry a blankie around with me wherever I go.

I’m listening to Adele’s 19 album at the moment and seriously thinking that I need to go and buy her latest album later today. That girl can sing boy. Love love love her. As much of a fan I am of downloading (and no I wouldn’t steal a car, but if I could download one I would!) if I really appreciate an album I always buy it. It’s stupid really, I feel like if I don’t they might stop singing. Like my one purchase will keep them in business. I’m such a chop.

Worms. *(Warning profanity)*

June 27, 2011

June can seriously just fuck right off now. June has seriously sucked bi.g hai.ry b.alls. Please note that I am talking about the month, not the lovely lady who drives my daughter to and from school. She must not fuck off. She must stay.

I was feeling a little blue as the last few months have been tough. But then last week Monday my Dad went into a home, which is what I wanted and what I believed to be the best thing for him. I knew it was going to be emotionally tough. I totally expected it. I think it was toughest on my Mom and Sister. I went to see him yesterday in the home for the first time. He seemed quite content. He was sitting in the sunroom having a snooze when I got there. The sunroom is lovely and sunny (as all decent sunrooms should be!) and warm and cozy. I woke him up and gave him some biscuits which he began to guzzle. He still doesn’t remember me, but always says that Andre is familiar. We dropped Casandra at my Mom before we went to visit. I felt that the first visit was going to be difficult enough without having to entertain and control her as well. She has become rather boisterous. Anyway, he seemed very relaxed and quite content. After about 15 minutes he started falling asleep again so we decided to leave. It was all far less traumatic than I had expected.

I have been having some crappy shoulder pain for some time now. Mostly my left shoulder, but sometimes also my right. My best friend Dee has suggested that it could be this calcification thingy that is quite common in women around my age. She has had it and had to have a minor op to remedy it. I had been ignoring it and popping Voltaren’s (which may I say totally rock), but it was just getting worse. On Thursday I eventually relented and went to see my GP. I have an awesome GP, I really do. A woman around my age who never stops talking, alot like me. So we both talk really fast at the same time. It’s awesome. She did a quick exam which nearly sent me through the roof with pain. She also mentioned things like calcification and tendonitis and sent me for X-rays. It was quite odd, there are signs everywhere warning against x-rays and pregnancy, and they ask you about 5 times on the forms if you are pregnant. I had my monthly’s at the time so I know I’m definitely not pregnant, but I still worried a little, “what if I am?” So thick I am sometimes. The x-rays came up clear so Awesome Doc told me to go for Physio.

Friday I went for my first physio appointment. I have never been for physio before. I have however been to a chiropractor and it was fucking painful, so I was expecting pretty much the same. So the Physio asks me a whole bunch of questions and does a fucking painful exam. She tells me that this pain is from years and years of not sitting correctly at my desk working on my computer, and from carrying around my daughter. She also mentioned that the Chinese massage I had last month could have aggravated the problem but did not cause it. So I’m lying on my stomach on the table, naked from the waist down, and she asks me if I’m scared of needles. So I said no I’m more scared of pain than needles, so if you’re hinting at acupuncture and you think it’s going to work, then let’s do it. She tells me that they call it something other than acupuncture (I can’t remember what she called it so I’ll stick with acupuncture) and proceeds to turn me into her own personal pin cushion. What a weird sensation. And much less painful than her massaging me. What was the most odd was that she would stick a needle in my shoulder and my arm would twitch. Wow, cool trick lady!

I nearly fell asleep on the table. She said that acupuncture does that. It makes you very relaxed and sleepy. She hit a vein when inserting one of the needles and couldn’t get me to stop bleeding. I was amused by how much she was panicking. I was probably a little too relaxed at that point. I have a big bruise on my back as a warscar. Anyway, I left physio feeling slight relief from the pain, very relaxed and like I could do with a lovely nap.

That evening I was in agony. I couldn’t even lean back against a pillow. This agony continued until I returned to my trusty voltaren’s on Sunday afternoon. I spent most of the weekend in bed, only getting out of bed on Sunday at lunchtime to go and visit my Dad. I was very depressed. The pain I was feeling was really the last straw and sent me over the edge. I wallowed. I can see that Casandra is pissed off with me and for that I feel very guilty. Luckily I had already spoken to Awesome Doc about adjusting my meds. I realise that I should probably have done this at the first whiff that I wasn’t feeling too hot. But I tend to procrastinate when it comes to these kind of things. So I will be going off my trusty prozac and switching to Ciprimal in the hopes that it will do a better job, considering that it is a more modern SSRI. I have taken it before and it really did wonders for me. I am also considering getting back into talk therapy. It has been years. Too many years.

I made it! (Almost)

June 10, 2011

First of all thank you to Reluctant Mom for the props that she gave me on her blog. Serious warm and fuzzies. My blog has been pretty slow getting off the ground. Mostly because I feel that I don’t really have a specific subject matter and I didn’t want to bore the crap out of blogworld writing about … well … nothing in particular. But I’m feeling a lot more confident now. So yes, thanks again RM! I will write lots of nonsense especially for yoooooooooooooou.

Andre is coming home tomorrow (instead of Sunday), hence the title of this blog post.

I really don’t know what the single Moms are complaining about. It wasn’t that hard at all.

And I’ll tell you why – in point format too.

  • I don’t have to leave the house to go to work.  In fact I am still in my pj’s at this time on a Friday afternoon.  Yes, go ahead and hate me.  I don’t care.  I’m in my pj’s.
  • I have a shuttle that collects Casandra at 8am and drops her off at 4pm so I don’t have to do any school runs.
  • I filled my freezer with Woolies meals so that I didn’t have to cook.  Surprisingly I am not yet sick of them.  Tonight I am having Macaroni cheese with Chicken and Napoletana sauce, Casandra is having Sossies and Mash.
  • I have a wonderful cleaning lady who comes twice a week.  She even stayed late to help me with supper and bath routines.  She is a star and is going to get a nice bonus this Christmas.
  • I have amazing friends who helped me out by taking me for a bikini and leg wax, and came over  to cook a pancake dinner.
  • I only had to do it for a week.

So ja, how could things possibly go wrong?  Well the crying fits at 2am weren’t fun.  I struggle to keep Casandra entertained for long.  I just run out of ideas and land up stumped.  Andre usually keeps her pretty busy.  So it wasn’t all wine and roses.

Now I shall sit back and wait for the barrage of hatemail to hit me.

Tuesday update from Shanghai

June 7, 2011

I’m not really sure how this guest blogger thing works, so I’m just going to post the email that I received from Andre today. The end had me in stitches.

*Andre is in Shanghai until Sunday.

Hi all,

Today I took a taxi to meet my supplier.

I was a bit disappointed with their premises, it was like an old building in Salt River or Woodstock and run down.
While it was good to meet them and some progress was made, it was very hard work communicating. By the afternoon I was totally exhausted and just wanted to come back to my hotel.
I was taken for lunch by one of the bosses (but looking at his business card, he is an assistant?). Drove in his fancy 4 x 4 about 10 km to a rundown restaurant. They were out of hare so he ordered the hot chicken pot. Served in a boiling pot. Tasty, but the chicken was chopped up bones and all.

It has come to our attention that I was wrong about my departure being on Friday, its on Saturday night.

Back at the hotel I informed reception of this. They were kind enough to deduct another 1000 from my credit card. To thank me they gave me a voucher for supper.

Supper was a buffet with lots of things I could not identify. What I ate was quite nice. People kept looking at me again. Not sure if it was because I was the only white man or how I was eating my dog on a stick. Filled in a questionnaire about the hotel and food and they gave me a free umbrella. How many do I need? And they will not fit in my suitcase.

I am planning to do some sightseeing tomorrow, but its going to rain. Good thing I have 3 umbrellas at my disposal.


Love you long time. 10 dollar.

June 1, 2011

Yes I know that’s horribly stereotypical. But stereotypes are there for a reason.

Andre is off to Shanghai, China on Saturday. And I shall be left to tend to the crops and feed the animals. For a week. A whole one.

It’s all good. Mostly. I am a bit worried about monophobia kicking in, especially during the day while Casandra is at creche and at night while she’s sleeping. My friends and family are being awesome though. People making sure that I’m babysat and not sitting in a corner quivering and eating my hair.

Check in with me on Monday afternoon though. I might be bald.

Comfortably numb

May 23, 2011

This past week has been a real rollercoaster ride. There have been things that have made me cry, made me laugh, melted my heart and left me depressed. All of these things have been mish mashed together and I find myself completely exhausted and numb.

Casandra’s sleep habits (or lack thereof) have degenerated to a point where I am at my wits end. She wakes just as Andre and I settle down into bed, which is not too bad as we are not yet asleep, but still annoying having to throw yourself out of your cosy bed in the middle of winter. Once that dummy run is sorted she wakes again anywhere between 2 and 3am and will NOT go back to sleep. Last night was a real doozy. She screamed/cried/played for 2 1/2 hours. Not at all amusing. Then the last wake up arrives at around 6:30am. Considering that we have been kept awake in the middle of the night, and that she has been awake too, and that we can actually get up for work at 7:55 now, this is just not cricket. I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m hoping that this is just a phase and that she will miraculously settle into a nice consistent 7pm – 7am sleep routine. I suspect that I am kidding myself. Needless to say , no more offspring is being planned right now.

On the upside, my daughter is just the cutest little girl that has ever breathed. She makes me laugh everyday. She has learnt the cutest little dance and insists that her nose is on her cheek. She said ‘yummy!’ while eating flapjacks that I had made for her. She thinks that pulling her socks off is the funniest thing ever and steals our clothes while we’re trying to get dressed. It makes you quickly forget the events of the night before.

Sadly my Dad’s condition is deteriorating very rapidly. It is so difficult trying to encourage my Mother to let others help her with caring for him. I don’t want to push her too hard and tell her what to do, but I can’t let things continue to drift along the way they are. My Mother is not coping at all. Right now the best option seems to be a nurse helping her out for a couple of hours a day. She is not jumping up and down at this prospect. I am very concerned that we might land up with a family dispute which is not going to help anyone in anyway.

I suppose it comes as no surprise that I am depressed. All that I want to do is sleep and lie around in bed. As much as I resent Andre when he insists that I get out of bed, it really is a blessing. I am used to being stuck in an office all day. On Friday we spent the day on the road. I stayed in the car mostly but it was so lovely to be out of bed, out the office/house, to see people getting on with whatever it is that they do. I saw a truck driver dancing in his seat, a woman singing at the top of her lungs to her car radio, people standing around chatting and laughing, and as lame as it is, it really lifted my spirits. I cranked up the 30 seconds to Mars and just let it flow over me.

And now I shall do the same with this here glass of red wine.